Savoir-faire

Travel tips for the Louvre:

  • Don’t try to see it all in one day. Do be a student, skip the line, and get in free, even if it requires you to verbally tussle with the snooty ticket lady.

  • Don’t waste your time seeing the Mona Lisa. Do waste your time failing to read Ancient Greek inscriptions.

  • But, okay, do see the Venus de Milo. Do marvel at the ancient standard of beauty that involved killer abs and no arms.

  • Do freak out that Cy Twombly painted one of the ceilings, and don’t hesitate to babble to your friends all about how much you love 40 Days of Ilium at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Do ignore their glazed-over eyes.

  • Do point out that Jesus is looking capital-F Fabulous in this picture, as if he is saying “Mary Magdalene? Girlfren’, please!” Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count as sacrilege.

  • Don’t do this, whatever the hell this is. I have no excuses.